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In today’s blog post, I want to cover a topic that is close to my heart – mental and emotional health.
I am a person who works with people – daily, who is studying, who is a parent to several children and a cat, and who is an ambitious person with many personal projects often running at the same time, someone who has had various major life-changing and traumatic events, and I also have a life-long interest in psychology topics related to both adults and children. I am interested in wellbeing topics. Maintaining mental and emotional health is vital to my well-being.
Initially I wanted to title this post as ‘8 tips …’. However, I am not an expert.
I don’t like giving tips. I do like to share things that help me get by in my busy and eventful life. Things that can either inspire and help you or give you some ideas to try out to better your life.
Hope you enjoy reading and feel free to leave comments. Reach out to me, if you have any questions.
-1- Meditation
I don’t know where I would be today without meditation.
It helps me on days when I am busy, or if I am overwhelmed or excited about something or simply have so many things going on that I just need to take a break and rest my overthinking brain full of visions, ideas, goals, and to-do lists. Or on days when I am stuck or have had a full-on weekend day with kids.
I have observed that it helps me greatly when I practice it every single day.
I like guided meditation, and there are some tracks which have been invaluable to me for many years. I am a person of habit. I like to listen to the same ones over and over again. I usually listen to tracks that are either 5, 15 or 20 minutes long.
When do I meditate? A simple answer is – whenever I can.
Sometimes it is intentional and I do it early in the morning just after I wake up or after a morning run, or during lunch time or in the evening if I had a busy day and want to destress before studies.
Other times – before I have a stressful event or when I feel that I would really benefit from stepping back and quieting the mind.
-2- Don’t Just Wake Up – Get Up Early
My alarm clock goes off at 5 am. I was trying the 5 am Club techniques some time ago from Robin Sharma’s famous book, and my body got used to waking at this time. Unfortunately, over the last few months, I got into the habit of going to bed later or have had unfortunate experiences of noisy neighbours living their life at night. Hence, even if my alarm goes off at 5 am, on some days, I turn it off and sleep for longer. I wake up but don’t get up.
With time I observed that my body needs 7 hours of sleep. If I sleep less or more, it affects my mood, focus and emotional state.
It is one of my goals for this year, to get back to getting up at 5. When I do – I exercise, meditate, read, diffuse lavender essential oil, revisit my vision board and goals, goal plan for the day and just enjoy a quiet morning. I feel that it gives me energy, I am more calm, and I have 2-4 extra hours to do things I enjoy, or have prioritised to complete whilst my mind is rested and not interrupted by any distractions.
-3- Exercise
There are limitations on the type of exercises I am allowed to do, due to medical reasons.
I tend to ignore some of the limitations and occasionally go for a run. I like it. It helps to destress, get outside the house, see the world at least once a day on days when working from home, and most importantly it clears my mind and makes me feel energised and happy afterwards.
Pilates and yoga are two types of light exercises which I tend to practice at least a few minutes a day. These are awesome for stretching and practicing breathing, and I have also incorporated these into my morning routine. I am by no means an advanced practitioner in either of these. I do the basics. Same as for my cat, a good stretch in the morning set us up for a successful and energetic day.
-4- Healthy Eating
We all know that food is fuel for our bodies and minds. In general, I eat healthy, home-cooked meals 99% of the time. I have kids and work during the day, hence tend to batch cook at the weekends, so it frees more time in the evening during the week. This habit definitely makes week nights stress free and enjoyable, especially when many of us are tired and hungry after a long, actionful day.
Me and the kids love juicing and smoothies. Our current favourites are carrot and apple juice, and I tend to have porridge or take a protein smoothie in the morning. Protein keeps me full. There’s always a fruit and a bowl of nuts nearby to stabilise our bodies and emotional levels, if needed.
We love fruits and vegetables. We are obsessed with oily salad, so there are always some greens in the fridge to make it fast. The kids tend to do it. They love cooking from a young age – any type of cooking, especially baking. Home-baking cinnamon rolls is our current favourite.
I think cooking with kids is one of those times when I practice breathing exercises because all of us have similar personality types, and there’s always a fight about eggs to be beaten into a bowl, or who is best to chop the salad. I sometimes wish many had as much enthusiasm about cleaning the rooms. Although, after a few reminders, everyone does the best they can for their age.
Don’t know about you, but for me, coffee is a bad habit at the moment, definitely something I am planning to reduce this year or to change to a healthier version for my body – the one with chicory. I love coffee, but it seems to make me anxious if I take it first thing in the morning, it dehydrates my body if I take too much of it, and it stains teeth. Hence, lately, I start days with warm water or homemade juice with added ginger.
-5- Self-Awareness
I truly believe that in order to live a happy life and have meaningful relationships with others, it is of high importance to know yourself, who you are. What is your personality? By having this knowledge, you will gain more understanding of yourself, what triggers your behaviour, what can make you happier based on your personality. It will also give you insights of best communication styles related to your personality type.
I am a proud introvert of an awesome INTJ type. Quiet. Unless something crosses my values.
It was a common practice to share personality types at some of my previous professional settings, for communication purposes – to improve communication and teamwork within teams and the organisation.
When we know who the people are – we know how to better work with them.
I tend to share with people my Myers Briggs Personality type. However, I observe that not many are aware of personality types and do not understand the many benefits this knowledge can give when working in teams. We are all different and unique individuals with various things that can either enhance or degrade our performance if working or management approaches are not taking into consideration the personality of individuals within the teams.
If you haven’t done it yet, I think that Myers Briggs Personality Test is a great one to try. I also love The People Code Book by Dr Taylor Hartmann. I recommend you read it before you get married. I wish I did. It’s not just my suggestion – it’s a great idea, and this statement is covered within the book.
-6- Coaching and Therapy
I believe that coaching and especially therapy are an important way to take care of oneself and one’s mind. I don’t think I would be where I am today if I had not tried either self-coaching, guided coaching, or therapy. I believe either of these is vital for maintaining mental and emotional well-being.
For someone who has had interest in psychology from a young age and going through various experiences in my life related to losses, major changes on a frequent basis over many years, grief and traumatic experiences associated with many events, including my unique ways of becoming a parent, traumatic pregnancies and births – it is interesting that I did not look into therapy much earlier in life. Then, it got me thinking, perhaps it is due to an environment where I grew up, where there was some sort of stigma towards getting help related to mental and emotional wellbeing.
Few years ago, I was on a Neurolinguistic Programming course through my work at that time, and it was then I discovered the techniques of NLP and how these can change lifes. If you are ever interested in it – check out Richard Bandler’s book The Ultimate Introduction to NLP. I have had it for years. I often come back to in order to get inspired and to reset my mind. Many of my friends and acquaintances have received a screenshot of it, at least once, in the last few years. It is short but powerful and includes many useful exercises and tools to elevate your life.
In terms of coaching, I like the simple GROW model which I often use either for self-coaching or work. And, I have been lucky to meet an amazing transformation coach, just at the right time in life, when I needed it.
From the therapy aspect, I find Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is suitable in many contexts of life, and I am lucky to have a few awesome books which can help kids and adults. However, I find that although CBT concepts are easy to understand, these are better practised with a professional. I have been lucky to find a few awesome professionals on this platform whenever needed to have a quick chat for myself or my loved ones, and I also like their platform from a software engineering and architecture perspective (related to some of my personal projects) – the Harley Platform.
-7- Let Them
I first heard about ‘Let Them’ last year through a poem that was circulating around Instagram. Interestingly, it was only a short version of it that was reposted, without a second part of the poem. I discovered a full version later. A short version is powerful but feels incomplete once I have seen the full one.
Then I heard about this theory again recently through Mel Robbins posts which led me to get her latest book – Let Them. ‘Let them – Let me’ is the main message of empowerment to live your life on your terms and whatever happens – keep going, make your own choices rather than being influenced by others, remain empathetic and enjoy your life with all its ups and downs. Let people be who they are. Let them make their choices. Let them show you who they are. You – be you. Let yourself be you.
The people who are meant to be on your journey – will be there, no matter what happens. And, these are the only people who you need in your life to continue being you and living it the best way you choose for yourself.
What better way to protect your mental and emotional well-being than choosing the right people who truly support you when needed, and being in the right environment where you can flourish and achieve every goal you ever dreamed of?
-8- Hibernation
Don’t fear the title. I am not a bear.
I am a human. And, I am a person who usually warns my friends or family if I will go into a hibernation stage, either for a weekend or for a month or a few.
It is often a time when I take a step back to reset, to retrospect and to revisit or renew my vision, goals and a way forward. Or sometimes it is a time when I want to focus on either progressing with a specific project or a skill that I wanted to learn, or focus on a coaching programme. And, sometimes I just switch off from a busy world around me and spend some quality time on myself and my self care for a few days. Meditating, running, coding, eating healthily, dancing to my favourite music, drinking homemade juices and reading books that grow my mind and character.
It involves limited or none of the phone use, limited social interaction, no social media, and anything that involves a lockdown from an external world. On days when I am working, I strictly stick to the starting and finishing times and go no-contact right after.
For many years now – I do not watch TV, I do not watch or read the news, I do not play video games (I wouldn’t mind creating one 🙂 ), I do not drink alcohol and I do not go out partying. I don’t think any of these things are bad if done in moderation, I am simply not interested and choose to protect my mind, health and my thinking from these sorts of influences. Due to that, I go into a hibernation state easily and do not miss things which I have not experienced for some time anyway. I laugh when I write this because nowadays I hear the latest news either from Instagram or a neighbour or a random pop-up of a news advert in some online articles.
The latest news that I heard was that there was a Guinness truck that was stolen in my area at Christmas time and that the New Year’s fireworks were cancelled in the city due to bad weather. I heard it from my neighbour through a human-to-human conversation – she was surprised that I was not aware of these news.
I don’t know if the truck has been found yet, although, from my experience, the Guinness tastes best only in the Guinness factory, and I got to see the New Years fireworks anyway from my window – some brave people did not follow the rules and chose to welcome the New Year in full celebration.
Hope you found this blog post helpful and it gave you some ideas on how to maintain mental and emotional health in your life. Feel free to leave a comment and share your ideas and things that help you.
Best wishes,
Natalie
PS: To maintain a human touch in an online space and as a practice to recover from perfectionism – I do not use AI tools or advanced Grammar Checkers for creating my blog posts. If you observe an occasional mistake, I apologise. English is not my first language; feel free to reach out to me or leave a comment below, and I can correct it.
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